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Mar. 30th, 2008


Party On Wild Child

As soon as Shannon hit the party she dropped a hit of X, chased it with a straight scotch and hit the dance floor in the cleared section of the middle of the loft. The music was perfect for her mood, a great mix of early punk, 90's grunge and a few Euro-dance mixes. As she bumped and ground her way around the floor, she eyed up the men in the room, hoping to find one that was interesting enough to drag off to bed.

Several very hot young guys zeroed in on her and she found herself in the middle of a small crowd of them, each one laying his best line on her and getting a cold shoulder. This wasn't a night for little boys, she wanted something more, someone older, a man that wasn't interested in anything but hot sex. She'd had more than enough sweaty fumbling with amateurs, she wanted a real man tonight, preferably one with a few miles on him.

She felt eyes on her from the corner and made her way over, stopping at the bar set up just off the dance floor. Scooping up a stray bottle of scotch and two glasses, she made her way to the dark corner. She could tell he was built the way she liked, but couldn't really make out his face, just a thin mustache over a pair of completely kissable lips. Sliding her way onto the sofa beside him, she poured some scotch in one glass and held it out to him.

"I'll bet I can guess your name with the answers to three question." Her smile was all smoldering invitation.

Mar. 27th, 2008


A Few Memes Cause I'm Bored Waiting At The Airport

Your Pick Up Line Is

Want to play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.

Your Superpower Should Be Manipulating Fire

You are intense, internally driven, and passionate.

Your emotions are unpredictable - and they often get the better of you.

Both radiant and terrifying, people are drawn to you.

At your most powerful, you feel like the world belongs to you.

Why you would be a good superhero: You are obsessive enough to give it your all

Your biggest problem as a superhero: Your moodiness would make it difficult to control your powers

You are a 1960s Diva

Bold dresses, funky boots, bright patterns.

You have an eye for fashion - and make trends timeless!

Mar. 21st, 2008

vegas baby

Little Miss Invisible

I went to a party last night and after most everybody had left, one of the guys put on a DVD. So I'm sitting smoking weed and watching Tommy by The Who and this one lyric just stuck in my head. 'See me, feel me, touch me, heal me.' I can so relate, I feel just like Tommy, like I'm trapped inside this crappy life and no one can hear me screaming out for someone anyone to actually see me.

My roommates don't, they see the party girl, always up for fun. The photographers, shit they only see through that little viewfinder, bitch, drops five pounds from your ass next time and you might not look like a bloated cow on film. The agency only sees dollar signs, Shannon, surely you can take one more shoot this week, its a cover for High Roller. My parents see their big disappointment, the one that was supposed to get good grades go to med school and be their little carbon copy, perfect child.

No one sees that I'm dying here, no one at all. I need to breathe, to be somewhere real, somewhere...not here. Just three more weeks, if I can hang on three more weeks it'll all change. Father Dearest says he's not paying for the move, fine, I don't need his money, I have my own. See no one knows about those little movies I've been doing. Three grand a movie and you can shoot them in a day, just peel off your clothes, little girl, and moan nice and loud for the camera. Creepy little peep show flicks and if anyone ever finds out I can scream that I was coerced, I mean after all I was only 16 when I did my first one, never mind that I went looking for the job.

So thanks to those sleazy assholes I have 30 grand no one knows about stuck back and by the time anyone notices that little Miss Invisible is gone, I'll be in New York. Maybe I can finally be heard, seen, felt and if I find Billy maybe, just maybe even healed.

Mar. 19th, 2008


(no subject)

“Absolutely not, Shannon, I will not fund a move to New York. If you’re going to refuse college then you can stay here where you belong, with your family.” My dad says calmly, when I tell him about my plan to get out of Vegas and go somewhere real.

Everything in my parent’s house is done calmly; raised voices aren’t allowed. It doesn’t matter whether it’s an angry loud or a happy loud, anything but a calm sedate voice is frowned on in the Peck house. The calm, sedate quiet sometimes, hell most times, makes me want to scream, to put Tool on Father Dearest’s expensive rack system and crank it up to 11. I want to climb up on the perfectly set Sunday dinner table (A Peck Family Tradition and God help anyone who disturbs it or fails to show up), rip off my clothes and dance on the china, turning it into little crunchy pieces on the white linen tablecloth chanting ‘Hello, I’m here, I exist’.

I know the response would be to calmly, sedately lift me down, give me a Valium and send me to my room, or rather my apartment since I finally managed to win that concession six months ago, but only because Mommy Darling’s best friend’s daughter lives right next to the place I shared with my two of my three best friends. Not that Mindy Magruder is any kind of a chaperone, since she gets us booze, weed and X in exchange for invites to all the hot parties.

I climb into car and head back to my apartment, screaming over top of Nine Inch Nails ‘Close’. ‘I just fucking want to be seen, dammit!’, over and over as my fist bangs into the leather covered steering wheel. God my parents are complete country club assholes, they just don’t get it and they never have. I don’t fit here and now I’m finally old enough to get the hell out of Dodge. I can go make my way where they won’t have to worry that I’ll embarrass them, which seems to be the only time they pay any attention to me at all.

In a little less than a month I’ll be eighteen and on my way to NYC, my old hometown, not that I really remember it, except as the place that swallowed up my brother. I wonder if I could find Billy, if maybe they’d open the records and let me know where he was taken. Maybe if I can find him, I might find me, might not be invisible anymore.

March 2008



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